Hi All-
I know it has been a while since we've updated, and unfortunately we have had some really tough days around the Olson house. My mom, Henry's Grandma Kate passed away on the 10th of April. She had been battling ovarian cancer for 5 years and passed away at her house surrounded by all of us who love her. It has been really hard, but our light has been Henry. We thank God that he is here to brighten up these sad days. Here is my eulogy that I gave at my mom's funeral. It is meant to be spoken, so please forgive the bad grammar:
This whole week I’ve been waiting to wake up from this new reality I find myself in since my mom has passed away. I don’t know what to do with this new emptiness, this new hole in my heart. She was my center, my idol, my mom. There is one word that keeps sticking with me when I reflect on my mom: remarkable. She was truly a remarkable person.
The first thing you noticed about my mom is that she was beautiful. She was tall, graceful- and she always had her own style. As a child I always took notice of how she entered a room. Confident yet inviting, and people always took notice, and warmed to her immediately. I would never have admitted it to her, but I always liked when people said we looked alike.
She told me a couple of weeks ago that in her opinion she may have lived for a short time, but she lived big. This made us both smile, because it is so very true. She followed her own path in everything she did. She had an appetite for adventure. She loved her family and friends passionately, she believed in her work, and even strived to get the most enjoyment of her free time. She started carving her path when she moved to Australia, married some guy on a bus from London, raised lions, taught a variety of kids- from a Native American Indian reservation to a Catholic high school. She truly believed in the work she did teaching kids and at Education MN. She was lucky enough to spend her career fighting for a cause she believed in.
She learned how to love from growing up in the DeWitt family, a tight knit, full of love, family. She admired her father, she was best friends with her sister, brother, and mother, and she was the happiest when they were close. I can remember summer evenings at the cabin when everyone was together, I could see the pure joy she got from spending time with all of us. Golfing with Gary, Ken, and Angie; pontoon ride happy hours; Christmas Eve; 4th of July at the cabin- all of these were her favorite things to do with her family. But my mom being my mom, her absolute favorite time is when she was winning at any game at the cabin. Golf, Ladder golf, farkle, poker, croquet- it didn’t matter. If Gary or my Eric were involved- it became serious. She would gladly give up her own shot at winning if it meant that Gary or Eric would lose. She would make us turn on the flood lights so we could finish the Olson vs. Jackson ladder golf because the Jackson’s were behind. She was competitive, but with a twinkle in her eye. She only rubbed it in a little bit, and it was with love. I promised my mom before she died that I will be the same to Adam and Dad as she was to her mother and siblings. Her favorite times in her life were spent with our big family at the cabin, and our family will always be able to find the spirit of her there.
One of her passions was her children. She was a mom down to her bones. She loved Adam and I unconditionally, defended us fiercely, worried about us constantly, and pushed us to be our best. It is because of her that I was brave enough to enter a male dominated field, because of her I worked hard in school, it is because of her that I love to read, love to learn, love and respect the wonders of this world. I remember a time in high school when I told my mom that I was frustrated by a science teacher because he thought he had done his job when most of his students were getting low grades. I will never forget walking into his class the day after parent conferences, he pulling me aside and with bewilderment and a tiny bit of fear in his eyes him telling me that he met my mother. And what she told him was that being a hard teacher doesn’t make you a good teacher, and if most of your students are struggling, that is a reflection on you- not the caliber of the students. Needless to say, I had an interesting rest of the semester That’s how my mom was- you treat people unfairly, you make people she loved struggle, you deal with Kate. And we all know that my mom fired up was not necessarily an adversary you wanted. She could make you change your mind, concede to her everything she wanted, and you leaving the room thinking you made a new friend.
Her being a mom didn’t stop with Adam and myself, she loved my friends like I did. She became a 2nd mom to a lot of my friends, and really enjoyed their company.. She loved to have my friends at the cabin, and I know my friends will never forget the many summer nights that were spent solving the world’s problems over a campfire.
However short, I am really grateful that I was able to connect with my mom as an adult. She was my confidant, friend, advisor, and cheerleader. She was proud of Adam and myself. I can’t tell you what a comforting feeling it is to know that- she was proud of us. I’m grateful she got to know and love Eric. She loved him like he was one of her kids.
She was so excited about Henry. Before he was even born she spent countless hours worrying, planning, and just generally being excited about him. If I mentioned a pregnancy symptom to her, the next day she would call me with advice from her Doctor, she would constantly fret about what he would need, what she should have at her house for him to be comfortable, down to what soap we should use. Her famous line was “I don’t mean to interfere, but………” And she’d finish the sentence asking us about our plans for Henry. She was overjoyed when he was born. The hardest part about her being gone is I know what Henry is missing, a grandma that would go to the end of the earth for him, a grandma that would be his champion. As I start my journey of motherhood, here are my promises to my mom:
I will always love, defend, and be there for my children- no matter what.
I will tell them to “remember who they are” when they leave the house.
I will not let them watch tv during the day, I will make them play outside instead.
I will instill a love for exploring and learning- whether it is a trip around the world or in the backyard.
I will always be involved in their education- even when they tell me to butt out.
I will tell them that I love them everyday, and give them a mom hug everytime they leave. I will miss that mom hug most of all.
I will tell them about their grandmother, who she was, and what she believed in.
And lastly- I will tell them to give their grandpa some trouble every once in a while
My mom was a good friend to a lot of people. She loved her group of friends, and had a social life that rivaled any teenage girl. She had a group of friends that loved life like she and my dad did- and she took a lot of joy in the time she spent with them. Whether it be a conversation at work, Panera at 7am, or on a cruise in the Mediterranean. Her friend’s joys became her joys- their sorrows her sorrows. She loved you all.
And then there is my dad. I learned what it means to love someone from my mom and dad. I firmly believe that they were what defined a lifetime love. I am eternally grateful to my parents to show me that the fairly tale ending is possible. I strive everyday to love Eric like my mom loved my dad. She loved him passionately, supervised him passionately when she thought it was necessary, and was his devoted wife. She would kill me for using the word “devoted”, but it is true. When my mom was sick she needed help moving and my dad told her to “Hug me like you love me”. She stopped, took his face in her hands and told my dad she loved him more than anything. That is when it really set in for me just how lucky they were to find each other, and what an amazing bond a lifetime love can be.
The heaviness that we feel in our hearts today is representing a remarkable life lost. It is also representing a life well spent. She would have wanted us to remember that she did it her way, and that we should try to do the same in our lives.
Do what you love.
Love your people.
Fight for your people.
Teach your children.
Love your life, because as she used to say “everyday is a gift”
